Numb
by JCthewriter
Summary: All he wanted is to show his brother he's strong as him. He doesn't feel perfect. I need a better title...


**I dunno how this came to mind, maybe cuz I was watching 'The Host' or something... (Also based off of a pic I drew today - 11.16.13-) **

**- art/Make-The-Hurt-Go-Away-414036590**

**Enjoy! **

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_**Mario: **_

What does scare me? Or matter of fact, what hurts me the most? The countless times Bowser punches me? The frequent burns from fire I receive? Or something else. Far much worse, the the thing that hurts_ me _the most is seeing my closest friends hurt. Physically and emotionally, maybe even mentally. It takes a lot to make me cry, and these past few weeks Luigi, too. I don't know honestly what's up with him, he's been acting strange. Every time we go to save the Princess, and he gets hit he normally freaks out, but now, he doesn't seem like it doesn't even hurt. Maybe he's trying to be stronger, I don't know what. I let my hands drop to my sides as I stood in my room, I had a million things going through my head, Luigi, being one of them. He doesn't seem to respond to anyone surrounding him, he just blanks out. I sighed as I walked out, I passed several rooms until I stopped at my brother's. I looked at the fine carved door, with the signature "L" on it. It was closed. I knocked on it slightly and waited a few seconds. It was time to figure out what was really going on. He just wasn't himself and I wasn't okay with that. The door opened and I saw Luigi's peek out form behind, and he opened it all the way. I walked in and sat down on his bed, I watched him sit down in the chair next to his desk. He looked at me with big blue eyes,

"What's up?" He says unsteadily. I sighed again,

"Luigi...No, what's up with you?" I blurted accidentally, he looked at me uneasily, and turned away.

"Nothing." He says scratching the back of his neck, looking at the ground.

"Luigi? I've noticed something, and I want to know. This is going to sound weird, but why is it that you're fighting your emotions?" I ask, he looked down at the palms of his hands.

"I am?" he asks, his voice tense, _I knew he'd found out. _Luigi thought,

"Yeah, and I want to know why?" I say, getting and leaning on his desk next to him. I crossed my arms and looked at him.

"I'm not fighting any emotions." he argues, becoming defensive.

"Really? You're doing it now, bro," I said, "I just want to know why?"

"Um..." He says, "Nothing..." he's being hesitant.

"Luigi? You know you can tell me anything right?" I tried telling him, with a slight grin. I heard him sigh and start to shake,

"I..." he stuttered, I heard his voice crack, "I just wanted to be braver. I really hate crying for no reason, and I thought maybe if I tried to hold it in, then I would be stronger. As strong as you." He looked up at me, his blue eyes wide with tears brimming. So, that's what this is all about? Being stronger. I walked over his bed again, and patted it for him to sit down. He came over slowly and sat down, very tense. I threw my arm around him,

"Luigi. Bro, to me you're one of the strongest people I've ever known. And I'm not just saying that because I'm you're brother, but it's the truth. How many times have you saved me before? Lots." I saw a single tear drop from his cheek as he looked down at the ground again. He looked at me quickly,

"But, Mario! Those were _minor _things, I didn't do any worth standing ovations like you have. Honestly, I just am part of the _other _people out there." I could hear the hurt in his voice, I can only watch him fall, burn, and crash so many times until it hurts me. I pulled him into a tight hug,

"Luigi? I always say that you're my brother. I don't care if people call you a wimp. You're not one to me. Those things were not minor to me, you're a worthy hero, bro. Besides why are you trying to be so strong?" I ask, my eyes softening.

"I don't know, I just wanted to be someone else for a change. I'm sick of being...Luigi. I really hate it."

"Did you just refer yourself as an 'it'?" I say a little taken back.

"If you want to be technical then sure." he shrugs,

"Luigi!" I say surprised. He looked out the window to his right, "Let me tell you something, I understand that you can't stand the way you act sometimes. But _that's who you are_, why do you insist on changing so much? You're perfect the way you are, crying makes you, me, _us, _human." Tears started to stream down his face more, I rubbed his back slightly, "Quit being so hard on yourself."

"If I don't, then, I don't have any control over my own being."

"Sometimes letting go is best, Weegie."

"I don't understand why everything is so complicated. Why am I such a coward? Then there's you and even Toad who'd go out and do things no problem." I sighed,

"Bro, you're not a coward, don't listen to haters; they're gonna hate. Don't ask so much of yourself." He was really hurting, I could tell,

"Make the hurt go away." He whispered, I hugged him for a long time. He cried silently into my shoulder and was still trying to hold them in. He's in pain, Mario, I thought. He pulled back, his eyes blotchy and cheek were tear stained. "As soon as I start to cry, this voice in my head repeatedly says, 'don't you dare cry.'" I thought about it for a moment,

"Block it out, I just said-

"It makes us human I get it." He interrupts,

"Oh, Luigi..." I breathed, shaking my head.

...

We didn't speak for much of the night, I could see why. I didn't want to make him feel worse, I just think he's a bit depressed or something. _Or something..._ The next morning I could see he didn't get much sleep because of the way he acted. The Princess and Luigi and Daisy and I were all enjoying a smoothie at a near by cafe. Luigi had his head on the table,

"So, what's your plans for the weekend, Luigi?" Peach smiles, twirling her straw in her cup. He looked up slightly,

"Nothing much, probably just play video games...And be lazy." he mutters, I then heard a rumbling noise, speak of the devil...Bowser popped out of his clown car thing and spoke in his raspy, deep, loud voice,

"Mario! It's that time again!" he teases, oh yeah...It's . He and many Troopas ran over to us as we stood up. I rose my arm,

"Peach, Daisy, run!" They tried to run but both got caught in Bowser's long and large claws. They struggled to get free but to no avail, I looked at Luigi; he looked absolutely exhausted. You've got to do the job any way, Bro. He looked at me,

"I've got this one, Mario." He says getting into a fighting position,

"What?! And let you fight him off on your own? You're insane! No!" I yelled over the screaming of the Toads and chaos around the kingdom.

"Just go calm down the villagers, I've got it! _Trust me!_" He argues back, there's no way in hell I'm letting my little brother get turned into a pancake by this beast.

"Luigi, Bowser will tear you to shreds! No!" I yelled again, this time with a more stern voice. I could tell he wanted to show me how brave he can be, and right now, he's already proved it to me just by taking over the fight.

"I don't care!" he yelled and ran towards Bowser. _But I do..._ I ran after, him yelling his name. Has the boy lost his marbles? The clouds had turned dark and the ground started to crack. Crap, I couldn't get to Luigi in time, he had already made his way to the turtle thing. I felt like my head was going to burst, please, Bowser, don't kill him. I decided to let Luigi have a try at what I do every Thursday...Without my help. I hope he's not screwed, that we're not screwed. I really, really hope...

...

The fight went on and on, Luigi was actually going on strong. (An unintentional rhyme...), but Bowser had clipped him a few times, it didn't seem to bother Luigi. Not a surprise, as of yesterday's conversations. Bowser had punch Luigi hard again, he fell. Again and again, I saw him be thrown around but never giving up, the princesses have been freed. I was keeping them behind me as I watched my only family fight to the death it seems. Every time Luigi was thrown across the concrete, or punched in the gut, it actually made me flinch or even worse/better, go out there and help him. I wanted to give him a chance at it, he had already shown me his bravery, and I taught him everything he needed to know. By the time the fight was merely over, Luigi was barely standing, but he still kept going. Just like I would've... Just like _me._ I didn't want him having to grow up so fast like I had to when we were little. But boy, he was in bad shape. I couldn't stand it any longer, I jumped in action, as the princesses watched with semi-worried looks on their faces. I slammed into Bowser as Luigi fell again. But this time he didn't get up. I finished Bowser off as he continued to breathe fire and try to punch me. He sort of missed and sort of didn't sometimes. I was in not so good shape by the time the fight was_ completely over_, but I was no where near as bad as Luigi. I ran over to him, his face was bruised and caked with dirt and blood dripped down from the side of his face. I felt the town around me quiet down, and start to cheer. This was no time for cheering though...I started feel my own sadness hit me like a wave. I felt tears build up, the damage Luigi was suffering was actually startling. His shirt was ripped in some places, his hair was a mess, scratches and bruises covered him. He was unconscious, I leaned closer to him, I heard the very weak, erratic heart beat. About two beats per second. Not good. He literally maybe be dying, I carefully picked him up as my hands started feel a bit moist. I looked at them, they were covered in blood. It couldn't have been my own, I felt a slight gash in Luigi's back as I carried him back to the house. The princesses were shocked to see one of their own friends beat up so badly. It made me sick and hurt so bad at the same time. Sick that I was looking at a bunch of injuries, and hurt that I didn't help him sooner, and I actually caved in to let him take on Bowser by himself. I opened the front door with my foot, and gently placed him on the couch. Luigi was really light if you ask me, compared to the other things and people I've lifted or carried regardless of the distance. I looked at his battered face, he looked really innocent right then. He looked very young too, I may add, by three years. His body was limp as I sat there trying to clear my head. I breathed inward, the princesses stood in the doorway with complete worry in their faces. I set a hand on his shoulder gently,

"Weegie?" I said softly, I didn't get a reply for several minutes, I started to become worried myself. Peach had went to go find the first aid kit in the kitchen. Daisy was trying not to tear up, she had a soft spot for Luigi and I knew it. How? I just know. I saw him jerk a second, and he made a little noise. His eyes opened slowly, he looked down at the dry blood on his bottom lip. He then looked around,

"Mario? What happened?" he manages to say weakly. He tried to sit up, but I pushed him back gingerly. He really did look like a kid, with that innocent look in his eyes, a battered face, honestly, he looked scared.

"You..Got knocked out while fighting Bowser. You're safe now, we're going to fix you up; me, Daisy and Peach." I said uneasily, Peach came back out with a little box in her hands. She sat down next to me and opened the box's compartments. I took out a gauze and some bandaging tape. As soon as I put it on, the blood had already soaked through it, he was bleeding badly. But I knew where exactly the blood was coming from; his back. "Bowser had clawed him in the back, we're going to have to lift him up somehow without straining him anymore." I said to the girls, Daisy gave me a concerned look,

"How are you planning to do that," she asks, cleaning Luigi's minor cuts on his head with a rag."We can't flip him over." I thought about it for a moment,

"The only thing we can do is lift him." I say, starting to do so. The girls helped me lift Luigi's upper body as he fell slightly unconscious again. The back of the couch was covered in dry blood, but right now I could care less. Luigi's shirt was also a wreck, I then, saw the deep, long, lines across his back, it looked like he went through a wood chipper! The unmistakable, famous claw marks were completely visible on my little brother's back. The girls and I helped each other wrap his waist in bandages, as I cleaned up some of the cuts and dirt. We gently laid him back down as he made a little noise again, sorry, bro. I took the wet rag again and cleaned up the dirt and etc., around his face, and eyes. As I took more dirt way I could start to see that face again; the face I grew up with my whole life, he really did look like he was at least eight years old. In my mind I saw him smiling.

...

Daisy and Peach went home hours ago, it was now at least 11 at night. I was exhausted, my body was weak and was telling me to go to bed. I didn't want to leave Luigi's side though, I was snacking on some dry roasted peanuts when Luigi woke up. He looked around curiously and then looked over at me.

"Hey bud." I said with a slight grin, I was still in a bit of shock at his injuries. I ruffled his head that was still dirty but I didn't really care. I sat down on the couch's arm, the one closest to Luigi's head.

"Hi." he says weakly, I had changed him into a cleaner shirt earlier in the day. He looked better after hours of bandaging and cleaning of his face. He still looked though if he went through a wood chipper but he at least was decent looking. I noticed the side of his face was swollen, partly because of the bruising and black eye. It was silent for a few seconds, which was completely natural with Luigi, then I spoke something that I've held onto for a good four hours.

"Luigi? Tell me, why did you insist on fighting Bowser alone? You knew you would get hurt." And frankly, Bowser was actually being harder on Luigi than he ever was when fighting me. Weirdo. He sighed but it turned into a cough,

"I don't know." he said, looking in the other direction, "I was aware that I was going to get hurt, but, I felt in a way, I kind of deserved it." This took me by surprise,

"Bro, no one ever deserves to get hurt, especially in the condition you're in," he rolled his eyes, "Why did you feel that way?"

"I don't know, I just felt that way." He's still hurting inside. I knew it very well.

"Luigi, tell me why you wanted to fight him alone." My voice became stern, I crossed my arms as I glared at him. I wasn't mad at him, I just was looking for answers. Luigi has always been stubborn like that.

"I just wanted to show you how strong I could be..." He said weakly, tears brimming his eyes, "I wanted to show everyone that I wasn't a coward. That I was brave, I didn't like being a second player, Mario. I also just wanted try to see if I could defeat him alone, like you always have." He looked at me as I sat down below him, I set a hand on his shoulder, I saw a single tear leave a streak mark on the dirt that still covered his face as it slid down his cheek. My instinct was correct, he just wanted some acknowledgement, too. There was more silence and he began to cry softly, "I'm sorry." he said over and over again,

"For what?" I ask,

"That I can't be better...I'm sorry that I can't nothing right."

"What? That was kind of random, what are you talking about now? Weegie, I think it's the drugs talking, you need some rest." I gently scooted him over a bit, I sat on the edge of the couch. I gathered him close to me and hugged him, he started cry a bit harder. He cried into my chest, then he finally sobbed,

"No, I'm sorry I can't be..Perfect. I'm sorry for everything I've done that hurt you and everyone else..." I hugged him tighter, tears threatening my own vision. I held him up by his shoulders,

"Luigi? I want you to be honest with me, what do you see when you look in a mirror?" I ask, looking into his eyes as tears fell down endlessly his cheeks.

"Nothing. I see nothing, I don't look into a mirror." he says weakly,

"But if you do?" I say,

"I'd want to slam my fist into the glass." he cried even harder, "I can't stand myself, so, I don't look through the mirror. All because I can't do anything, not even a simple dismount off of bars!" (Gymnastic reference; Olympic Games), maybe I didn't realize just how badly he was hurting. He hates himself so much. He despises his own self so much that it's destroying him emotionally and even mentally. I let him cry into me again, for hours he just sobbed.

"Weegie...Don't be sorry, there's nothing to be sorry for. Sadness comes and sadness goes. Luigi, you're are perfect to me, I just don't understand why you want to change everything about you? Those qualities make you, you."

"Do you want to know what Coach said to me while training for the Olympics?" He's not even listening to me...

"Hmm?" I mutter,

"He said I was 'quite insolent for a stand-in,'." What? That's cruel, Coach, so cruel. "Not even one 'good job!' or 'nice work!'. It would be nice to receive some acknowledgement sometimes, ya know?" He says burying his head into my chest. My god, how much this boy burn and crash? I held him by his shoulders again,

"Weegie? Let me tell you this, you're nothing that's not imperfection. Far from it. There are so many things that I screwed up in life, but that's just how life goes. I get it, what Coach said wasn't nice or necessary for that matter, but you still keep going right? Yes. _Don't ever feel like you're nothing, you're perfect to me._" I said, pouring every ounce of honesty I had into those words. I couldn't bear to watch the one I loved and cared for the most be in tears almost all the time. I started to feel my own tears brim my eyes. He sobbed harder into my chest as I held him. _Weegie...What you did was one of the- no- the bravest thing you've ever done. I honestly, couldn't be more proud of you._ I thought as I smiled a little, "Non piangere, fratellino."

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**Hi! Please review by the end I was in tears, I put all of my work into this one! "Non piangere, fratellino," is rough translation of "Don't cry, little brother." **

**A few songs that I listened to were "Perfect" "Beam Me Up" and "The Great Escape" all by P!nk, check 'em out if you would! **


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